• New Book Release! Acquisitor-A Jackson Cole Novel

    I know this is supposed to be a crime blog. But I got a new book coming out! Acquisitor, A Jackson Cole Novel, preorder now (https://amzn.to/3zhtIGj) arrives September 3rd, 2021. Just in time for a long Labor Day weekend. Acquisitor picks up about a year after the events of Shattered Circle. In Shattered Circle, Detective…

  • Food Fight

    What is the dumbest thing in the world to get arrested for? Mutual Pasta Battery

  • Heavy Sleeper

    A guy in New York City passed out drunk on the street outside his apartment building and got robbed not once, but twice. And he slept through both incidents. According to the article the victim, we’ll call him Tanner for no other reason than this sounds like something a Tanner would do. Tanner went out…

  • Triathlon of Crime

    What do you get when you steal a truck, a tractor, and a kayak all in the same day? Aside from, I’m guessing, a possible meth intervention, you have possibly your first criminal triathlete. Tina Duncan. I’m impressed with your willingness to do whatever it takes to do whatever the hell it was you thought…

  • “Twenty Bucks Says…”

    I’ve never done meth but the look on this guy’s face is exactly what I would expect once he realized what he had tweaked himself into. According to the Smoking Gun referenced below, Mr. Kelly, Doug to his friends, called the Putnam County Sheriff’s Office, Florida (of course) because he thought his methamphetamine dealer, lets…

  • The Mature Blue Stilton, Worth Going to Jail for…

    This is almost as bad as when a fugitive falls for the old, “You won a radio contest gag,” which, by the way, I am proud to say I pulled off in the far distant past. But that’s another story for probably never so moving on. When we look at this story there are a…

  • You Remember to Ditch the Gun, but Forget the Weed Up Your Ass?

    You are a thirteen-time felon by the age of twenty-seven. You shoot yourself in the junk. Despite the pain and shock you are cognizant enough to have your girl ditch the gun. But you forget about the bag of weed up your ass? The report said Cam, Cameron Wilson but we’ll call him Cam, shot…

  • How high do you have to be to steal an ambulance?

    There is a guy in Houston, Texas who needed a taco- a Jack in The Box taco no less- so bad he was willing to steal an ambulance to get it. I ask, how high do you have to be to steal an ambulance because: A-Jack In The Box tacos aren’t that great, B-there’s no…

  • The Great Irish Birdseed Caper

    The Great Irish Birdseed Caper

    That’s right, a trio of geniuses in Limerick, Ireland knocked off an armored truck and all they had t show for it was a bag of birdseed. This story brings to mind one immediate question: Who do you think got their ass kicked for this? According to the article, there were a minimum of three…

  • Oooh Cheetos!

    Oooh Cheetos!

    FROM KTUL: News 8, Tulsa “TULSA, Okla. (KTUL) — Tulsa police said a woman is in jail after Cheeto residue on her teeth linked her to an attempted home burglary. Police said on Feb. 26 patrol officers were dispatched to reports of a person attempting to force their way through the window of a home near…

  • “It Wasn’t My Idea,”

    https://www.nola.com/crime/2018/10/man-convicted-in-fatal-attempted-robbery-of-loomis-guard-said-crime-was-co-defendants-idea.html New Orleans, LA If you do ever happen to find yourself charged with a crime there are a variety of ways to try and get out of it. A good lawyer is probably the best, maybe a close second to keeping your freaking mouth shut. Blaming somebody else is also a good choice depending…

  • Texas man arrested for plan to murder, cannibalize girl

    https://www.ktre.com/2018/10/22/affidavit-texas-man-arrested-plan-murder-cannibalize-girl/ Since it’s Halloween I thought I do my best to make sure you can’t sleep tonight. In Shelby County, Texas Alexander Barter sits in jail after being charged with Conspiracy to Sexually Assault and Murder a Minor. If you haven’t heard of the dark web I would suggest not trying to find it. In…

  • Choice of Weapon: Lawn Mower

    Father attacked his son with chainsaw before son ran him over with lawn mower, police say https://amp.usatoday.com/amp/1647350002 RELAX IT’S A HALLOWEEN GAG PHOTO Yup, that about says it all. In Bristol, TN a 76 year old man attacked his own son with a chain saw, and according to the article, his son (the victim) ran…

  • Savannah’s Pissed

    Savannah unamused by googly eyes placed on historic statue: ‘It’s a crime’ http://amp.thestate.com/news/local/crime/article219716780.html Guess who gets this case? The new guy in the Detective Bureau, that’s right. In Savannah, GA someone (read drunken SCAD nerds) put googly eye stickers on a monument to Nathaniel Greene. I had a civil war joke to make about this…

  • Writing so Hard I had to Sit Down

    So I write in the morning before my day job. I drop the wee one off at day care, try not to cry, and head to my office. I leave the light off so it’s just me and the screen for about forty-five minutes. I started my newest novel, untitled, the other day. So far…