• You Remember to Ditch the Gun, but Forget the Weed Up Your Ass?

    You are a thirteen-time felon by the age of twenty-seven. You shoot yourself in the junk. Despite the pain and shock you are cognizant enough to have your girl ditch the gun. But you forget about the bag of weed up your ass? The report said Cam, Cameron Wilson but we’ll call him Cam, shot…

  • Oh, Mayor Mike, Never a Cop Around When You Need One Huh?

    Authors Note: This is a work of fiction, a Parody no less so relax. Names and places have been changed to protect the ignorant and misguided. Though this is technically not a story about a stupid criminal, this statement was so ignorant, if I wasn’t such a freedom of speech advocate I would want the…

  • How high do you have to be to steal an ambulance?

    There is a guy in Houston, Texas who needed a taco- a Jack in The Box taco no less- so bad he was willing to steal an ambulance to get it. I ask, how high do you have to be to steal an ambulance because: A-Jack In The Box tacos aren’t that great, B-there’s no…

  • The Great Irish Birdseed Caper

    The Great Irish Birdseed Caper

    That’s right, a trio of geniuses in Limerick, Ireland knocked off an armored truck and all they had t show for it was a bag of birdseed. This story brings to mind one immediate question: Who do you think got their ass kicked for this? According to the article, there were a minimum of three…

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