• Rent-A-Hitman

    I wonder what I could do to make my wife want to have me killed. I could ask her I guess but I’d hate to find out I had already driven her to murder, and she just hadn’t wound up the courage to pull the trigger yet. She had a Snapped obsession for a little…

  • You’ll Never Take Me Alive! Yeah, We Will.

    I know I’ve written about car thieves before, but I really liked watching this guy somersault fifty feet off a bridge. These are old sayings and kind of played out but: “Go big or go home.” or “If your gonna do it wrong, do it right.” or “You’ll never catch me, copper!” All seem to…

  • Tweakers and their Vibrators

    In Adelaide, Australia, four people got locked up for kidnap and torture. And it all started with the theft of a sex toy. This quote from the article is priceless: “The court heard the incident began when Janise (name redacted to protect the moronic) who was an ice user, wanted revenge on the victim after…

  • Food Fight

    What is the dumbest thing in the world to get arrested for? Mutual Pasta Battery

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