• Ep. 67: Comedy Writer Brett Allen and Sly Fox Hollow

    Brett Allen is a graduate of Michigan State University and a former U.S. Army Cavalry Officer. He’ written two novels, Kilroy Was Here, and Sly Fox Hollow. He’s a husband and father of two. When not writing, Brett enjoys drumming his forehead against the surface of his desk and cursing softly under his breath. Sly…

  • Rent-A-Hitman

    I wonder what I could do to make my wife want to have me killed. I could ask her I guess but I’d hate to find out I had already driven her to murder, and she just hadn’t wound up the courage to pull the trigger yet. She had a Snapped obsession for a little…

  • You’ll Never Take Me Alive! Yeah, We Will.

    I know I’ve written about car thieves before, but I really liked watching this guy somersault fifty feet off a bridge. These are old sayings and kind of played out but: “Go big or go home.” or “If your gonna do it wrong, do it right.” or “You’ll never catch me, copper!” All seem to…

  • Tweakers and their Vibrators

    In Adelaide, Australia, four people got locked up for kidnap and torture. And it all started with the theft of a sex toy. This quote from the article is priceless: “The court heard the incident began when Janise (name redacted to protect the moronic) who was an ice user, wanted revenge on the victim after…

  • Here Kitty Kitty

    I think it’s important to start off by saying this didn’t happen in Florida. Wisconsin either has really cool cat toys or is in serious need of some gun safety training. A 19-year-old named Jashanti (common spelling) in Kenosha, Wisconsin decided to use the laser sight fixed to the frame of a 9mm handgun as…

  • Naked on a Golf Cart

    A naked woman drove a golf cart into the middle of a standoff between police and an armed teenager. The teenager was apparently holding himself hostage on the roof of his home around midnight on September 6th (Happy Labor Day!) when Jessica Smith, 28, refused orders to leave the area and found her bare ass…

  • Food Fight

    What is the dumbest thing in the world to get arrested for? Mutual Pasta Battery

  • Heavy Sleeper

    A guy in New York City passed out drunk on the street outside his apartment building and got robbed not once, but twice. And he slept through both incidents. According to the article the victim, we’ll call him Tanner for no other reason than this sounds like something a Tanner would do. Tanner went out…

  • Triathlon of Crime

    What do you get when you steal a truck, a tractor, and a kayak all in the same day? Aside from, I’m guessing, a possible meth intervention, you have possibly your first criminal triathlete. Tina Duncan. I’m impressed with your willingness to do whatever it takes to do whatever the hell it was you thought…

  • “Twenty Bucks Says…”

    I’ve never done meth but the look on this guy’s face is exactly what I would expect once he realized what he had tweaked himself into. According to the Smoking Gun referenced below, Mr. Kelly, Doug to his friends, called the Putnam County Sheriff’s Office, Florida (of course) because he thought his methamphetamine dealer, lets…

  • Work Smarter Not Harder, Right?

    “Sly smuggler uses Border Patrol for free trips home,” Time is money. I’m not a businessman but I’ve seen Shark Tank enough to understand the phrase. In law enforcement we have another phrase, “You don’t catch the smart ones,” That’s usually because the would-be criminal mastermind failed to see a weakness in their particular scheme…